The air in here is thick with the odor of smoke and hot machine grease.

We’re slaves to our self-indulgent anxiety,
every last one of us,
and crippled by our impotent fury.

DJ Zebra - Come Closer

Easily the best mash-up I’ve ever heard: The Beatles vs. Nine Inch Nails!

“A normal person sees these birds perched on electrical wires and worries about getting crapped on. Jarbas Agnelli looks at them and sees musical notes… Agnel explains that he was simply curious about what sort of tune he could create by transcribing the birds into musical notes.” -Gizmodo

The human genome is about 3,120,000,000 DNA base pairs long, so half of that is in each spermatozoa. That gives us 1,560,000,000 base pairs in a single sperm cell.

Each of those base pairs can be a A-T bond or a G-C bond, and can be aligned in either direction. That means there’s 4 ways it can be aligned, and that can be represented in two bits of data: 00 = G, 01 = C, 10 = A, and 11 = T, for example.

Now, the average dude lets out between 50 and 500 million sperm with each go. Rough average says that it’d probably be about 200 million, right? If we take all this information and combine it with the wonders of mathematics, we have 1.560*10^9 * 2 bits * 2.00*10^8. Do all the equational shit, and we have 6.24*10^17 bits transmitted in a single burst.

That’s 78,000 terabytes, in what amounts to half-minute-at-most event.

We could fit a digitized copy of the Library of Congress into your spooge. It’d only take about 20 terabytes.

So your dick has a higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed, and is ever likely to exist anytime soon. Now, imagine a machine that used your saltshaker to surf the internet.

Of course, god knows most of you would only use that power to surf for pr0n.